April 9th, 2007
|01:41 pm - I’m moving…|
Originally published at Jimaroid. Please leave any comments there.
It’s all change in Jimaland, physically and virtually. More on the physical aspect later and as for the virtual aspect, well, I’m moving my blog over to Wordpress courtesy of Gazhosting:
Thanks to a handy plugin my posts will be crossposted back to Livejournal and I will be keeping up-to-date with my friends listing as always, so it’s probably not going to be all that much of a change to anyone else. I’m not sure if I’m going to export all my entries out of LJ and move them across to Wordpress - LJ makes it a bit of a chore to do so as it only exports on a month by month basis.
There’s lots of things that I should write down but just don’t get around to, I’m hoping that the new virtual home will provide the momentum for change in that respect.
March 30th, 2007
|07:36 pm - Kickstart|
Put in my notice to the current landlord. Not got anywhere to live yet but this serves as an incentive. Seen an amazing place at a ridiculous cost, it's bloody tempting to rent for 6 months or so. Is a 4 bedroom house to oneself a tad extravagant?
February 5th, 2007
|09:31 pm - Whee!|
Off to London in the morning for some very short notice expenses based boozing at a press gig in Soho. I'm really looking forward to it. London is a very much hate-okay-hate place for me but I do have a soft spot for it in terms of a "love to visit, never liked living/working there" way. The real shame is that because it was such short notice I couldn't manage any padding time to stay down there and meet up with mates for a couple of nights. Still, it'll be the first time I've flown out of Dundee airport so it's going to be some new experiences mingled with the old of the big smoke.
In other news, I played poker for the first time ever on Saturday having taught myself to play in the afternoon. Did alright - won a really good hand and then got pissed and lost everything. I didn't lose the most and I stayed in the game longer than most, which was my planned measure of a successful first attempt. The important bit is that we all had a proper good laugh, it wasn't all serious and I enjoyed the whole evening of drunken gambly cigary whisky fuelled debauchery. I was slightly worried it'd all be a bit too straight and serious but it was very much the opposite, I can't help but want to do it again.
Oh, and, the night previous to all that I was up till 4am drinking port and playing Gears Of War online. It's great to have normal weekends back. :D
February 1st, 2007
|12:17 am - Stuff and Blah.|
So my last entry wasn't all that positive and the annoying thing is that despite all the shit that constantly surrounds me I think I'm actually doing all right. I think, perhaps, maybe, I don't know, etc.
New job, in most respects, started this week. All a bit hush-hush at the moment and I've no real clue what I'm doing. Producer on $project has so far been terrifying and exciting in equal measure, I fully expect to be looking back on this in a year's time and being just as clueless to what I'm doing as I am right now. Case in point: spent all day being busy today without achieving anything practical. I'll take that as being successful so far...
Got quite trashed yesterday, it's all a bit shameful. Summing up is a bit of a heartbreak, I suppose. The girl I've fallen for kinda turned her back on me last night and it's left me in one of the more violently isolated moods I've felt of late. Not good and I don't know how to stop or control that feeling. Truth be told, I'm still completely in love with Ella, there: I typed it. I don't know what to do, everything reminds me of her, it's not helped by one of the barmaids in my local being an almost exact doppleganger of her when we were at university together. I miss my cat. I miss Ella, I miss our life together. I'm drunk. I miss being drunk with Ella. I miss her laughs, I miss her ultimate hatred of me. I miss her rediscovered adoration of me. I want to love someone again. I'm addicted to a drug I can't obtain.
But, I'm not unhappy. I'm frustrated with the feelings of isolation, certainly, but I'm not unhappy. I live an envious life of freedom and selfishness. I can do as I please. I can come and go and live how I see fit, I have no dependants and I'm my own life. And I'm jealous of the opposite. But, I'm not unhappy. I like me, I like who I am, I'm unique and I'd happily be the person I am given another hundred attempts.
Somewhere, out there in space and time, is another one of me: please get in touch. It's that simple, I guess.
January 21st, 2007
|04:26 pm - MoanCON 1|
I've had a really fucking miserable day. I'm feeling completely trapped, mentally and physically and I can't see a way to escape the ennui that is besieging me.
*loads of ranting deleted*
That sort-of feels better. In summary. Massively pissed off and lonely. Spent all day in self-defeating agonising on how to spend the day, I eventually get out to go and buy something nice for dinner and there's a huge screw through one of the tyres in my car.
Fed up. :(
Current Mood: Pissed off. Bored. Upset. :(
January 11th, 2007
|12:02 pm - Bed|
Bloody hell, I'm laid up in bed again. Woke up with a bit of a sore throat on Monday, felt a bit worse on Tuesday and then had the fastest ever transition from feeling a little hoarse to knocked out with headaches, pains across the body and coughs during the evening. I then slept through Tuesday night and nearly all of Wednesday, staying awake long enough for a viewing of the Apple Keynote (sent me back to sleep) and a spot of Planet Earth. I've not long woken up, it doesn't feel like Thursday, and I'm already wavering and feeling like more sleep.
To top it all off, the teapot has disappeared. Disaster.
January 7th, 2007
|07:37 pm - Three - By Seven|
First mix of '07 and here's me just slotting a few tracks together without any particular goal in mind. Largely done in one session with Live but I've tweaked a few things here and there for this render. It's nice and mellow with a bit of a kick and a fading chuckle - very much how I'm hoping the new year pans out.
Three - By Seven
First mix done with the little FaderFox LV2 I got a while back, still getting to grips with it but it's made a huge difference in being able to juggle various tasks at the same time. Using about 2% of the overall functionality at the moment and hope to be upping that once I get a bit more confident. Lovely thing, it is.
January 3rd, 2007
|01:54 pm - Double-O Seven|
This year's calendar transition was celebrated in Ireland at a friend's house on the west coast in county Sligo. It's a staggeringly beautiful part of the country and one of those places where you feel like you're genuinely insignificant on planet Earth. Especially so with the full frontal assault delivered by the atlantic ocean and gale force winds, which we experienced the trailing ends of. It was an unpleasant journey across, though; bad weather, mechanical failures and barely competent airline operators meant we didn't get to start celebrating the new year's eve until gone 22:30 in the evening. When we finally got to our destination we were all a little bestraggled from the long day we'd endured but it quickly turned into one of the most compressed and entertaining new year's celebrations I've had. Sinking 3 pints and raising a glass of champagne in the hour before midnight meant we were all nicely merry in our celebrations.
Chilling out on New Year's day with lunch, a small walk to the beach, followed by some Wii time (thanks to stinkygoat and gilesgoat) and a nice gentle session of beer, pub and Monty Python was a perfect way to relax and let the stresses of 2006 fall away. It's a shame we only had a little bit of time over there but it was enough to get a very brief glimpse of how beautiful Ireland is when Gaz, Suze and myself went on a little walk around the head of Mullaghmor. Some pictures of the places and people are up on Flickr. I'm still getting to grips with my new camera and it's a sometimes frustrating experience where results vary between utterly blurred and noisy to fantastically exposed and coloured. It's great for pictures in good light but it really struggles indoors of when the flash is on. I'll find a better balance soon, I'm sure.
Now, I don't make resolutions for the new year but this year has coincided with a big transitional period caused by finishing Crackdown just before Christmas. It was tight but we bloody did it, the frustrating part being that it's certainly been at significant cost to my own health and stability which needs to be sorted out in the next few months. I have to get my personal space back, which means a new place to live, and I have to sort out my health. My health means a lot less drinking, a lot more exercise and a much better diet. I'm not happy with the weight I've put on, I'm not feeling good about my health at all, I'm getting signs of my body disagreeing with the way I treat it by drinking too much on a regular basis. I'm sure this is all caused by me not being happy at home, i.e., I don't have one. Going back to see my parents at Christmas has reinforced this. I didn't feel at home there anymore, things have changed too much but not enough. The family is entirely centered around my sister and the nephews now. I'm incredibly happy for them but through my own doing I've been away too long to be a close part of it.
2006 was one of the most difficult but fun years of my life. I have many highlights from the year and they are all becuse of the friends I have made, shared and continue to enjoy the company of. Their continued fortune in friendship is how I will remember past, this, and all coming years by.
December 31st, 2006
|10:53 am - Farewell, 2006|
I think I'll do a little 2006 retrospective once I've seen 2007 in. It's been a great year and I'm wishing everyone the best for '07.
December 22nd, 2006
|03:05 pm - Christmas, then.|
I'm off down to the folks tomorrow morning, it's weird, I haven't seen them for about 20 months so it's going to be great to see them again. Lots of catching up to do and I'm sure I'm going to be playing a lot of Gears Of War - Dad has been playing it over and over since sending them a 360 as an early present a couple of weeks ago. Mother has probably not managed a single play yet with all that Cog-hogging Dad's upto. They're both in the credits for Crackdown, can't wait for them to see that as it's always been hard for them to understand what I do workwise with them being completely computer illiterate. They love their consoles, though, so sometime soon they'll finally be able to play with something they can understand instead of being baffled by what "programs" I've made in the past.
Really dreading the travelling, though. Current weather is a bunch of arse but Bristol airport is stuck on top of a hill so hopefully it's escaping the fog and ice lurking in the valleys surrounding. No reports of problems today so I can but hope. Then I have to get from Bristol to Shropshire which is a nightmare at the best of times. Usually involving the train to Glasgow, which is a bit mad considering I'll be flying past the weegies on the way down.
I'll get to see my cat briefly tomorrow. Out of everthing, it's Exmoor I miss the most and seeing him is all I want this Christmas. :D
Wishing everyone the best, whatever you're up to.