Blatherings

I’m moving…

2007-04-09T12:49:19Z

Originally published at Jimaroid. Please leave any comments there.

It’s all change in Jimaland, physically and virtually. More on the physical aspect later and as for the virtual aspect, well, I’m moving my blog over to Wordpress courtesy of Gazhosting:

Jimaroid’s Blog

Thanks to a handy plugin my posts will be crossposted back to Livejournal and I will be keeping up-to-date with my friends listing as always, so it’s probably not going to be all that much of a change to anyone else. I’m not sure if I’m going to export all my entries out of LJ and move them across to Wordpress - LJ makes it a bit of a chore to do so as it only exports on a month by month basis.

There’s lots of things that I should write down but just don’t get around to, I’m hoping that the new virtual home will provide the momentum for change in that respect.

Kickstart

2007-03-30T18:38:35Z

Put in my notice to the current landlord. Not got anywhere to live yet but this serves as an incentive. Seen an amazing place at a ridiculous cost, it's bloody tempting to rent for 6 months or so. Is a 4 bedroom house to oneself a tad extravagant?

Whee!

2007-02-05T21:48:51Z

Off to London in the morning for some very short notice expenses based boozing at a press gig in Soho. I'm really looking forward to it. London is a very much hate-okay-hate place for me but I do have a soft spot for it in terms of a "love to visit, never liked living/working there" way. The real shame is that because it was such short notice I couldn't manage any padding time to stay down there and meet up with mates for a couple of nights. Still, it'll be the first time I've flown out of Dundee airport so it's going to be some new experiences mingled with the old of the big smoke.

In other news, I played poker for the first time ever on Saturday having taught myself to play in the afternoon. Did alright - won a really good hand and then got pissed and lost everything. I didn't lose the most and I stayed in the game longer than most, which was my planned measure of a successful first attempt. The important bit is that we all had a proper good laugh, it wasn't all serious and I enjoyed the whole evening of drunken gambly cigary whisky fuelled debauchery. I was slightly worried it'd all be a bit too straight and serious but it was very much the opposite, I can't help but want to do it again.

Oh, and, the night previous to all that I was up till 4am drinking port and playing Gears Of War online. It's great to have normal weekends back. :D

Stuff and Blah.

2007-02-01T00:55:40Z

So my last entry wasn't all that positive and the annoying thing is that despite all the shit that constantly surrounds me I think I'm actually doing all right. I think, perhaps, maybe, I don't know, etc.

New job, in most respects, started this week. All a bit hush-hush at the moment and I've no real clue what I'm doing. Producer on $project has so far been terrifying and exciting in equal measure, I fully expect to be looking back on this in a year's time and being just as clueless to what I'm doing as I am right now. Case in point: spent all day being busy today without achieving anything practical. I'll take that as being successful so far...

Got quite trashed yesterday, it's all a bit shameful. Summing up is a bit of a heartbreak, I suppose. The girl I've fallen for kinda turned her back on me last night and it's left me in one of the more violently isolated moods I've felt of late. Not good and I don't know how to stop or control that feeling. Truth be told, I'm still completely in love with Ella, there: I typed it. I don't know what to do, everything reminds me of her, it's not helped by one of the barmaids in my local being an almost exact doppleganger of her when we were at university together. I miss my cat. I miss Ella, I miss our life together. I'm drunk. I miss being drunk with Ella. I miss her laughs, I miss her ultimate hatred of me. I miss her rediscovered adoration of me. I want to love someone again. I'm addicted to a drug I can't obtain.

But, I'm not unhappy. I'm frustrated with the feelings of isolation, certainly, but I'm not unhappy. I live an envious life of freedom and selfishness. I can do as I please. I can come and go and live how I see fit, I have no dependants and I'm my own life. And I'm jealous of the opposite. But, I'm not unhappy. I like me, I like who I am, I'm unique and I'd happily be the person I am given another hundred attempts.

Somewhere, out there in space and time, is another one of me: please get in touch. It's that simple, I guess.

MoanCON 1

2007-01-21T17:01:47Z

I've had a really fucking miserable day. I'm feeling completely trapped, mentally and physically and I can't see a way to escape the ennui that is besieging me.

*loads of ranting deleted*

That sort-of feels better. In summary. Massively pissed off and lonely. Spent all day in self-defeating agonising on how to spend the day, I eventually get out to go and buy something nice for dinner and there's a huge screw through one of the tyres in my car.

Fed up. :(

Bed

2007-01-11T12:17:04Z

Bloody hell, I'm laid up in bed again. Woke up with a bit of a sore throat on Monday, felt a bit worse on Tuesday and then had the fastest ever transition from feeling a little hoarse to knocked out with headaches, pains across the body and coughs during the evening. I then slept through Tuesday night and nearly all of Wednesday, staying awake long enough for a viewing of the Apple Keynote (sent me back to sleep) and a spot of Planet Earth. I've not long woken up, it doesn't feel like Thursday, and I'm already wavering and feeling like more sleep.

To top it all off, the teapot has disappeared. Disaster.

Three - By Seven

2007-01-07T19:42:56Z

First mix of '07 and here's me just slotting a few tracks together without any particular goal in mind. Largely done in one session with Live but I've tweaked a few things here and there for this render. It's nice and mellow with a bit of a kick and a fading chuckle - very much how I'm hoping the new year pans out.

Three - By Seven

First mix done with the little FaderFox LV2 I got a while back, still getting to grips with it but it's made a huge difference in being able to juggle various tasks at the same time. Using about 2% of the overall functionality at the moment and hope to be upping that once I get a bit more confident. Lovely thing, it is.

Double-O Seven

2007-01-03T13:54:53Z

This year's calendar transition was celebrated in Ireland at a friend's house on the west coast in county Sligo. It's a staggeringly beautiful part of the country and one of those places where you feel like you're genuinely insignificant on planet Earth. Especially so with the full frontal assault delivered by the atlantic ocean and gale force winds, which we experienced the trailing ends of. It was an unpleasant journey across, though; bad weather, mechanical failures and barely competent airline operators meant we didn't get to start celebrating the new year's eve until gone 22:30 in the evening. When we finally got to our destination we were all a little bestraggled from the long day we'd endured but it quickly turned into one of the most compressed and entertaining new year's celebrations I've had. Sinking 3 pints and raising a glass of champagne in the hour before midnight meant we were all nicely merry in our celebrations.

Chilling out on New Year's day with lunch, a small walk to the beach, followed by some Wii time (thanks to stinkygoat and gilesgoat) and a nice gentle session of beer, pub and Monty Python was a perfect way to relax and let the stresses of 2006 fall away. It's a shame we only had a little bit of time over there but it was enough to get a very brief glimpse of how beautiful Ireland is when Gaz, Suze and myself went on a little walk around the head of Mullaghmor. Some pictures of the places and people are up on Flickr. I'm still getting to grips with my new camera and it's a sometimes frustrating experience where results vary between utterly blurred and noisy to fantastically exposed and coloured. It's great for pictures in good light but it really struggles indoors of when the flash is on. I'll find a better balance soon, I'm sure.

Now, I don't make resolutions for the new year but this year has coincided with a big transitional period caused by finishing Crackdown just before Christmas. It was tight but we bloody did it, the frustrating part being that it's certainly been at significant cost to my own health and stability which needs to be sorted out in the next few months. I have to get my personal space back, which means a new place to live, and I have to sort out my health. My health means a lot less drinking, a lot more exercise and a much better diet. I'm not happy with the weight I've put on, I'm not feeling good about my health at all, I'm getting signs of my body disagreeing with the way I treat it by drinking too much on a regular basis. I'm sure this is all caused by me not being happy at home, i.e., I don't have one. Going back to see my parents at Christmas has reinforced this. I didn't feel at home there anymore, things have changed too much but not enough. The family is entirely centered around my sister and the nephews now. I'm incredibly happy for them but through my own doing I've been away too long to be a close part of it.

2006 was one of the most difficult but fun years of my life. I have many highlights from the year and they are all becuse of the friends I have made, shared and continue to enjoy the company of. Their continued fortune in friendship is how I will remember past, this, and all coming years by.

Farewell, 2006

2006-12-31T10:53:06Z

I think I'll do a little 2006 retrospective once I've seen 2007 in. It's been a great year and I'm wishing everyone the best for '07.

Christmas, then.

2006-12-22T15:05:50Z

I'm off down to the folks tomorrow morning, it's weird, I haven't seen them for about 20 months so it's going to be great to see them again. Lots of catching up to do and I'm sure I'm going to be playing a lot of Gears Of War - Dad has been playing it over and over since sending them a 360 as an early present a couple of weeks ago. Mother has probably not managed a single play yet with all that Cog-hogging Dad's upto. They're both in the credits for Crackdown, can't wait for them to see that as it's always been hard for them to understand what I do workwise with them being completely computer illiterate. They love their consoles, though, so sometime soon they'll finally be able to play with something they can understand instead of being baffled by what "programs" I've made in the past.

Really dreading the travelling, though. Current weather is a bunch of arse but Bristol airport is stuck on top of a hill so hopefully it's escaping the fog and ice lurking in the valleys surrounding. No reports of problems today so I can but hope. Then I have to get from Bristol to Shropshire which is a nightmare at the best of times. Usually involving the train to Glasgow, which is a bit mad considering I'll be flying past the weegies on the way down.

I'll get to see my cat briefly tomorrow. Out of everthing, it's Exmoor I miss the most and seeing him is all I want this Christmas. :D

Wishing everyone the best, whatever you're up to.

Farewell Ruds

2006-12-02T12:08:57Z

That was a fun night. :D

Bleurgh

2006-11-25T15:34:36Z

Ah well, the cold I had been trying to shake for a week finally bit hard a couple of days ago. Been lying in bed producing remarkable amounts of phlegm and coughing. Coughing, coughing, coughing and a bit more coughing. Never had anything like this, I had my first decent kip last night which was a mere 6 hours of cough-free sleep and woke up feeling a bit perkier. I've been nesting in my bed with books and lots of water but I had to get out of the house today to get some air and stock-up on tissues, reading material, soup and whatnot. Popped into town and after about 30 minutes the fevery sweat and sudden lack of energy helped me realise I'm still in no fit state for anything except more rest. Bit pissed off with it now, though, it's a bit of an enforced break from work which is good but I'd much rather not be feeling shite. Shame, as I was looking forward to the chance of seeing Scratch Perverts tonight and now that's written off.

Still, seeing this video up on Eurogamer has given me a bit of grin. :D
http://www.eurogamer.net/tv_video.php?playlist_id=1420&s=l

ObWedBlog

2006-11-14T20:18:50Z

What a fan-bloody-tastic weekend that was. Really can't add anything to what's already been said, Gaz & Suze truely made a day for everyone to remember and everyone made it a day for them to cherish. Happy, chilled, mad, fun. It had the lot and easily the greatest bunch of people to assemble for a wedding I've ever seen. Not even a single fight nor harsh word said, apart from cunt a fair bit that is... I hope they enjoy every happiness in their life together and wish them the very best of everything. I got a few pictures of the event over on flickr.

Of course, it was excellent to see a bunch of people I've really missed whilst in the wilds of Scotland, it's been way too long.

Feeling elated but bloody awful today, though. I'm exhausted. After dropping K&K off at the airport yesterday I went for a scoot about in the hire car into Southampton. Got a bit of browsing done in the shops before heading back upto Edinburgh on a late afternoon flight. It was completely dark by the time we were scheduled to land and just as we were on final approach the aircraft engines were pushed up full and the undercarriage was pulled in for a climb and an aborted landing. Apparently, the aircraft in front of us had hit a rabbit on the runway and there was a bit of a panic about debris and whatnot. So, that was fun, not the worst experience I've had in an aircraft by a long way but it certainly put a bit of adrenaline back in me for the drive back to Dundee. Except I couldn't find my car as I'd lost it in a carpark somewhere near Edinburgh airport. Lots of wandering about and 3 bus trips to and from the terminal got me back on track. I wouldn't mind so much were it not for the miserable bastard in NCP customer services; my ticket with NCP Carparks written on it, his office with NCP Carparks written on it, you'd think I'd made an innocent enough error. But, no, apparently the tickets look disimilar in every conceivable fashion. Any fool could tell the difference between the ticket I had with NCP Carparks written on it when compared to his ticket with NCP Carparks written on it... You've got to laugh, which I will be doing a lot of this weekend when I go back to firebomb the fucker.

Anyway, it's that kind of dimwitted crisis that makes it all the more fun. So, hurrah all round!

Blogapocalypse!

2006-11-09T18:45:06Z

Working, pub, not sleeping enough, doing it all again. Pretty much sums up every day for the last three weeks.

Masively looking forward to the weekend and having a bit of a break but also incredibly fearful that as soon as I take my foot off the gas I might fall ill from this sore throat I've been trying to shake all week. I must keep on the gas in that case, which is fortunate as I don't expect this weekend to be all that laid back. Hurrah!

Way too much stuff to do in preparation. Not going to get all of it done so it's going to be a last minute saturday afternoon dash around Pompey for a good few things. At least I've managed to get some new clothes (note to self - you've got no clean pants or socks, buy some) and I do like dressing-up.

In other news, blah.

Words I hate

2006-11-03T10:24:27Z

'Tis

You can stick 'Tis up your jolly seasonal arse.

Bah and, indeed, humbug.

Micro weekend

2006-10-22T17:11:42Z

It's been all systems go recently, I'm pretty knackered as a result and late this afternoon has been my first chance to see some of the outside world away from work. I managed to squeeze in a little walk along tayside having a fiddle with the camera. I'm still getting used to it but the light today was so spectacularly perfect that I've got a couple of nice shots out of it without too much thought.

I'm getting itchy to have another fiddle with Ableton but I need to set some time aside for it. There was a DJ in The Art Bar using Live last night (the first I've seen in the wild) and he was embarassingly bad. It's a bit mean but it's really made me feel a lot better about what I've managed to do so far, even if I don't have the audience breathing down my neck, it's made me feel a lot more confident to carry on mucking about because I know I'm not the worst at it.

Hmm, don't know what else? Everything is all a bit blah at the moment...

Geek out

2006-10-16T22:20:22Z

So, I got a new camera and it's a lovely little thing. It was a bit of a bargain as it's an older model and plenty enough for what I wanted despite the LX2 being even lovelier (and massively more pricey). The main attraction is that it's nice and compact, nice lens for a compact and completely manual when I want it. I'm pleased with the camera itself, although, I've got a fair bit of learning to do in so far as the pictures are coming out a little underexposed and a tad on the dark side. The JPEG conversion is a little noisey but that's not too much of a worry as I wanted to play with the RAW output anyway. I fired everything up and iPhoto doesn't understand this camera's RAW format. Schoolboy error...

So, found a little bit of code that does RAW conversion, hacked that together with gcc, hacked an Apple script to use it, attached it to a folder action and bingo jingo: I can drag everything off the camera's SD card and all the RAW files get converted to TIFF's on the fly. All in all, about 30 minutes of playing around and that included learning the Apple Script conventions. Absolutely delighted. :D

geek++

It's a trap!

2006-10-16T15:48:04Z

I'll leave Korruptor to explain this: What colour is ... ?

Star signs

2006-10-15T12:45:27Z

I do like looking at the fortunes of my star sign occasionally, it can be fun in the way that only hokum can. Picking up the local glossy mag, "is!", I flick through to Psychic Pauline:

"I'm always nervous of doings readings for Gemini, simply because every last one of you is a barely-supressed psychopath. Thus, I'll let you pick the best prediction that I've made for all of the other signs and pretend it's for you. I'll hopefully see you next month and not tomorrow night as you leap through my front window screaming for blood. Again."

Ooo, get her!

Homesick

2006-10-11T20:57:51Z

Getting a bit fed-up of this flat, I don't feel like I've got much space here so maybe it's time to move somewhere else. It's not an ideal time to be thinking this as it would be awkward to get stuck in another six month tennancy. I'm feeling more and more isolated here, it's not good, something needs to change.

Realised today that I've not seen any of my family since June 2005 and I don't have a single picture of any of them. It's my Dad's birthday tomorrow and I don't know how old he is, I've sent a "funny" card. So I've been trying to find something that will remind me of them by searching around Google and Flickr. Couldn't find a single thing mentioning where I grew up. It really is in the sticks so it doesn't come as much of a surprise, what I did find was a picture of the pub I first starting drinking in. Aww. The good old Shakespeare, fond memories. I really could go for a pint of Banks's Mild now.

Pick Chores

2006-10-10T20:34:19Z

I still don't like the uploader and the general look and feel still bothers me but I finally got around to sorting Flickr out. Some stag pictures uploaded here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jimaroid/

Looks like I'll have to sort out a new camera soon, this trusty little Nikon snappy fella is beginning to eat its way through batteries for some reason. Only managed to get some of Friday and a couple of Saturday night.

Day off

2006-10-09T19:18:08Z

Took today off from work in order to recover from an expected mess caused by Teh Stagginator. As it turns out, I'm just rotten ill from some sort of Pompey disease. Friday night was great and it was lovely to spend a night on the lash in semi-familiar surroundings with the friends I haven't seen for too long a time. I'm rather miffed to have called it quits before Midnight on Saturday, however. I just wasn't feeling right. Woke up on Sunday not feeling any better and spent most of the journey back in a very unusual state. Now I've got some nasty cold/throat thing and I've spent all day chucking various remedies down my neck. They don't seem to be working all that well.

An excellent weekend had by everyone, though. I'm really loooking forward to the wedding and have got things booked up ready to do similar again, I just hope I'm in better shape for it...

Two - The View From Bleak House

2006-10-03T23:46:56Z

So here's the next installment of my dabblings. It's not quite how I'd intended, I wanted to keep a much pacier feel to it but I wavered and rearranged a bit on the fly whilst recording it. I like the result, it's got a bit of up-down-up flow which I wasn't sure about at first but like on repeated listening. Matches my wildly bouncy mood at any rate.

http://www.mixdepot.net/Jimaroid/TwoTheViewFromBleakHouse

Had to do a little bit of post-session rearrangement on this one due to being a spaz during the recording. Must sort out that controller...

Modern fashion

2006-09-16T17:14:50Z

I'm not exactly Mr Style but current men's fashion is awful, went out to buy some new clothes today to cheer myself up but I couldn't find a single thing that wasn't completely awful. I just wanted a couple of new shirts but there wasn't a single one that wasn't orange, violet, brown, or a combination of all three and with a big "College" logo stitched on. With stripes. And ripped at the edges...

Humiliating

2006-09-13T12:39:34Z

So according to the physio I'm a "disaster waiting to happen." Nothing new about that prognosis, however, it does appear that the pain in my hand is due to a problem stemming from my neck. I'm having to wear a splint thing on my wrist which makes my right hand completly useless for using a computer and I think that's mostly the point... Except it's completely humiliating as I feel like a muppet and I'm typing like a monkey. Had a nice manipulation of the back, neck and arm which involved lots of crunching noises and the occasional 'Ooo!' Or should that be, 'Ook'?

Made myself happier by ordering a new iPod Shuffle. Pathetic excuse, I know. :D